In this section
Columnists
Offers for readers
Personal finance tools
The comment stream
Recent comments
- 1 of 25841
- ››
Editors choice
- 1 of 364
- ››
Personal finance news stream
Latest news
- Amanda's Take Five for Thursday 6
- How the RBNZ's OBR might work 34
- Amanda's Take Five for Tuesday 1
- NZ Super Fund bars Barrick 2
- SFO puts $1.1m price tag on Hanover probe 5
- Amanda's Take Five for Friday
- Amanda's Take Five for Wednesday 1
- Amanda's Take Five for Monday 5
- Treasury outlines deposit guarantee lessons 67
- Kiwibank customers prominent in class action 2
Most commented
- Treasury outlines deposit guarantee lessons 67
- How the RBNZ's OBR might work 34
- 'Why RBNZ & PM are wrong on deposit insurance' 20
- New insurance basis 8
- 'SFO decision no surprise' - Eric Watson 7
- Amanda's Take Five for Thursday 6
- Amanda's Take Five for Friday 6
- SFO puts $1.1m price tag on Hanover probe 5
- Amanda's Take Five for Monday 5
- NZ Super Fund bars Barrick 2
Most viewed
- Amanda's Take Five for Thursday 6
- Amanda's Take Five for Friday
- Treasury outlines deposit guarantee lessons 67
- 'Why RBNZ & PM are wrong on deposit insurance' 20
- How the RBNZ's OBR might work 34
- Amanda's Take Five for Tuesday 1
- SFO puts $1.1m price tag on Hanover probe 5
- New insurance basis 8
- Child support redux and a $2.6 bln headache
- National Bank depositors loyal
Money woes in marriage; Asset annihilation; Why Boomers are good for the economy; Big goals for 2012; Personal finance guidelines for 30-somethings

1) Money woes in marriage
Want to know the secrets to a successful marriage? Ask a divorced person. The Wall Street Journal reports on top lessons from divorcees. Big surprise, money is cited as a leading problem, even for those that last. Effective communicators will avoid the divorce courts.
Money was the No. 1 point of conflict in the majority of marriages, good or bad, that Dr. Orbuch studied. And 49% of divorced people from her study said they fought so much over money with their spouse—whether it was different spending styles, lies about spending, one person making more money and trying to control the other—that they anticipate money will be a problem in their next relationship, too.
There isn't a single financial fix for all couples. Dr. Orbuch says each person needs to examine his or her own approach to money. What did money mean when you were growing up? How do you approach spending and saving now? What are your financial goals?
Partners need to discuss their individual money styles and devise a plan they both can live with. They might decide to pool their money, or keep separate accounts. They might want a joint account for family expenses. In the study, six out of 10 divorced individuals who began a new relationship chose not to combine finances.
"Talk money more often—not just when it's tax time, when you have high debt, when bills come along," Dr. Orbuch says. Set ground rules and expectations and stick to them.
2) Asset annihilation
Being a divorcee myself, I was not surprised to read this news story from the Age about the crushing financial effects of breaking up. While a report cited in the article suggests that men suffer more emotionally, it underscores the inequities for women whose net wealth is decimated and rarely recovers to the point of her male counterpart.
Related Topics
For me, this reinforces the importance of women remaining active in the workforce if and when they become mothers. Here's a depressing excerpt on the aftermath.
The report - based on data from the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey - also showed that divorced men and women have fewer household assets than their married and never-married counterparts.
While the assets of those who divorce are worth $180,000 to $190,000 less than non-divorced people, even before divorce, the gap doubles to $360,000 to $390,000, six years after divorce.
Institute senior research fellow Dr Lixia Qu said for divorcees who did not re-partner, a lack of assets could lead to a greater reliance on government benefits.
''Divorce has a big impact on both men and women whose assets continue to fall behind married households and this impacts significantly on retirement income for divorced men and women who remained single, making them more reliant on government support to get by,'' she said.
3) Boomers - good for the economy?
Yes I know the demographic outlook makes Baby Boomers look like leaches but here's a contrarian view: actually this lot is good for the economy because they're the one's currently keeping it alive by spending. In this video interview with Boomer's blogger Julia Moulden comes to the defense of Boomers. About time someone did.
4) Big goals
Hard to believe we're more than half way through 2012. New Year's resolutions? It's never too late to make them and perhaps half way through the year one might be more realistic about them anyway. This blog by smartpassiveincome.com might get your juices flowing in this regard. In this particular post, the author explains the importance of goal setting, and aims big. Really big. Why not?
5) 30-something and making tracks
Based on my own experience, personal finance can take a turn for the worse in your 30s. Why? Because this tends to be the time when individuals couple off, have kids, buy houses, fill them with stuff and get too busy to take an active interest. Naturally, I'm generalising but I suspect this is the case for the majority. Using these years constructively to build wealth rather than destroy it can improve financial outcomes later on dramatically. How?
This piece from community.ally.com reviews some basic personal finance rules for the 30-something set.
6) Goodbye Gideon hello S&M
Absolutely no personal finance angle in the following but I'm including it for your amusement and or horror. The Globe and Mail newspaper in Canada reports that a hotelier Jonathan Denby, owner of the Damson Dene Hotel in England’s Lake District, has replaced the biblical bedside reading at his newly purchased business with the best selling tawdry book 50 Shades of Grey. To capitalise on this ravenous appetite for Mills and Boons style books, I think I'm considering writing one myself. Here's a Saturday Night Live spoof of an Amazon Commercial Advertising the bad girls' books, sent to me from one horrified bookshop owner and reader of only serious literature. "Yeah right!"
To read other Take Fives by Amanda Morrall click here. You can also follow Amanda on Twitter @amandamorrall












11 Comments
When asked what the secret to
When asked what the secret to his 50+ year marriage was - Case turned and said, "I gave up the joy of winning."
What he was describing was humility of mind and there is wisdom in that.
:) Yep I think so. There's a
:) Yep I think so. There's a marriage counsellor who wrote a book called "Yes dear" the title of which summarises his approach to resolving marital disputes.
A joy to have your comments here Ralph.
Cheers
David Frost did a series of
David Frost did a series of TV interviews here in the early '70's. One was on 'marriage'. An old couple stated that "they'd never had an argument in 60 years".
Dad turned to me and said "One of 'em's a deaf mute!"
" it underscores the
" it underscores the inequities for women whose net wealth is decimated and rarely recovers to the point of her male counterpart."
Which is an indicator that the drive for the earning power was originally coming from the male counterpart, or that the male counterpart was somehow the enabler (or mentor or driving force for financial improvement). And when the couple separate that extra benefit is withdrawn.
Which does match up with other observations about finance and gender.
Namely that often the male is focused on systems and money as useful. Often as a provider.
Often the females are not so focussed on the financial improvement as in investment (eg happy to save, as opposed to investing. Although one should never discount Hettie Green. More often than not the female is more focused on emotional or relationship satisfaction - and considers too much time or effort is spent chasing money, and not enough exploring herself, or developing the relationship or balancing work and home. Frequently the opinion surfaces "that why does anyone need all that money" (also becoming more common with modern femanised males and children). As if there is some strange "big Daddy Figure of the Universe" that fairly proportions out resources to each person for a purpose (these ones can get so much rain, this one deserves a singing carrer, that one a decent education, this one food, that one clean water........; and no-one is responsible for making it happen, just as long as the individual follows the good word (or doesn't get caught doing "bad" things")) Thus the focus of consumptions of resources, based around them, and consumption entitlement based on relationships.
As opposed to having to create or fight to get ahead.
So is it any wonder that, post divorce, one party who fights to get ahead, should see their "net wealth" increase?
Or who (or should I say, how many women) are going to think "But I'm just as entitled to net wealth as the man". IF you do so, then you have just -proven- my point.
lol - Fifty Shades of Grey as
lol - Fifty Shades of Grey as bedside reading. Was at a function recently and a mate was saying how a friend of his gave the trilogy to his wife - the best present he ever gave her he reckoned as friends sex life improved by several notches due to reading the book making his wife 'horny'. The funny thing was that there were several knowing smiles/smirks on some of the males also present, whose wives had read the books. :-)
I've read the "Fifty
I've read the "Fifty Shades"... trilogy and you really have to wonder what all the fuss is about. I don't think some women get out that much ;-) Give me Amanda's column any day!
First " Close Up", then
First " Close Up", then Barrack Obama on " The View" , then the Leterman Top Ten and finally and Interest.co chat. 50 Shades rules the world. Go figure.
If they think that's risque
If they think that's risque they should read Nancy Friday - Women on Top :)
I can vouch for the negative effects on net wealth after a separation but that is personally the only negative and hopefully not permanent. I have a good friend who is very smug about what he perceives as his suburban rapture: Mt Eden DGZ white picket fence etc. Endlessly telling everyone how much his property has increased in value and trying to find out their personal financial situation so he can establish his place on the "pecking order". Can't fathom why I don't want the same thing and why I wouldn't stay with my wife to achieve it. He works in a job he detests because of the mortgage and has sex once a month if he's lucky. Thanks all the same - I'll take my chances!
A few months ago Amanda from
A few months ago Amanda from memory you said you trialling Xero.
How did you get on?
Their AGM today https://www.nzx.com/companies/XRO/announcements/225349
Their first 50000 clients took 5 years to acquire, the second 50000 took ten months.
Thanks for the
Thanks for the reminder...will update. Have been putting off as the process of dowloading the data is a nuisance. Call me lazy. That's the biggest impediment to their programme. Needs to be automatic feeds as is thecase for their business software clients. Cheers,
Look forward to your report.
Look forward to your report.