Kiss and don't tell financial disasters; Why conflict avoidance is a poor retirement plan; Time is Money; Wants versus Needs; How good/how long is a guarantee

By Amanda Morrall

1) Financial opposites attract

Money can ruin an otherwise good relationship. Blame Mother Nature. The opposites attract theory apparently holds as true to money habits and values as it does personality and character.

Cold comfort to those who have found the ultimate yin/yang pairing but all is not doomed friends. Communication is a great balancer of the financial poles.

MSNBC writes about the top four most common money mistakes made by couples here. Read 'em and weep, laugh or have a chat.

2) The bumpy path of least resistance

I once read that the secret to a good marriage (at least for two strong-headed individuals) was the necessity for one to back-down in the face of conflict. It's more commonly known as the "Yes, honey" harmonising technique. I was too stubborn to bite my tongue, so was the ex. We're happily divorced now, sadly.

I think there's a lot to be said for conflict avoidance however when it comes to retirement planning, experts warn this is not the way to go. However, painful, awkward, unattractive it might be to think, and talk, about the future, retirement planners say couples who avoid it do so at their marital peril. Forbes.com offers some tips here on how to breach and broker the discussion.

This is a fascinating subject. Financial planners I know have confided to me that in separate talks with their married clients, it's not uncommon for one party to confess they see no future with their partner, at all.

Divergent thinking underscores the gender gap.

The retirement planner interviewed in the Forbes pieces notes the following concerns expressed by women about retirement.

• 24/7 time with their partners
• Fear that their partners would be too reliant on them
• Changing roles

Whereas for men it's

• Loss of identity as a professional
• Lack of purpose and meaning
• Not feeling appreciated

The following are offered as points of conversation for couples.

• How will your roles and responsibilities change?
• How much togetherness and separateness does each of you want and need?
• What about physical space in the home?
• What health and medical considerations need to be factored into decision-making?
• Where to live: geographic location, proximity to family, climate, what is the importance of nature, culture, and other preferences? What about social life, friends and community?
• What responsibilities and obligations do you have for adult children, aging parents and grandchildren or other relatives and friends?
• How can you live a fulfilling life with purpose and meaning?

3) Time is money

I hate cleaning. On Saturdays when I'm finally forced to reckon with the neglected housework that built up during the week, I daydream about getting a cleaner. Money is the obstacle of course. I've thought about a bartering arrangement, where I trade yogic secrets and cool asana instruction for shiny hard-wood floors and clean bathrooms. The other option is billing my talents out at a rate that will pay for the cleaning and pay me a wee profit on top, without eating too much into kid time.

This Getrichslowly blog reminds me of the golden rule about time being money. I'm inspired now to get creative.

4) Wants vs. needs

With respect #3, I'm smart enough to know a house cleaner is a want and not a need. It's a question everyone should ask of themselves before opening the wallet. If we did, it might lead to a lot less unnecessary consumption and debt.

Here's buylikebuffet.com on the subject of wants vs.needs.

5)How good, how long

I had a friend ask me about government guarantees the other day on bank term deposits. Seems there are fears resurfacing about global financial meltdown and the risk of banks going over.

Her question related to the security of bank deposits in Australia and I thought I'd share my findings.

In September the Australian Government lowered the amount by which bank deposits are guaranteed to A$250,000, effective Feb.1, 2012. Under the emergency scheme introduced at the height of the global financial crisis, bank term deposits up to A$1 million were guaranteed by the government.

This link explains more as does this one explaining the guarantee programme in Australia.

In the New Zealand context, bank retail deposits are no longer guaranteed. (See Reserve Bank of New Zealand website on the retail deposit guarantee scheme here).

Note however that a guarantee remains in place for NZ$9 billion worth of bank wholesale bonds. (Read more in this article by Gareth Vaughan.)