Valentine's Day Inflation and the asymmetrical guessing game; Home economics; The meaning of love; Over-rated romance; Toll free love texts

By Amanda Morrall (email)

Yes I know Valentine's Day has come and gone but the best blogs were the late bloomers and in the spirit of love I feel the need to share them. Given V-Day's commercial corruption, money is no small part of it.

Love day in the U.S. was expected to make retailers US$17.6 billion richer and Americans an average of  $126 poorer. Despite tough times there, the annual shell out was expected to be up 8.5% from the year previous. The Aussie and I must be financial soul mates (or cheapstakes) as neither of us spent a cent. Even our texts were free because we use an app that allows us to circumvent the exortionist mobile phone rates. I don't feel in the least bit shortchanged although I'm not quite sure how to square the exchange with economist Marina Adshade analysis of V-Day and the asymmetrical impulses driving its inflation.

1) The economics of love

It's always interesting to me to hear who gave what and how much. You can't take the snoop out of the journo. Seems to be the blokes get stuck with the short end of the stick. According to this fascinating piece from economist Marina Adshade we can glean some insight into the size of the spend and any disproportionate gifting through something called asymmetrical information. Call it the guessing game of love. In the absence of any concrete sign about where you might stand, a material gift may be construed as evidence of affection or serious feelings. So what should a gal read into three red roses, instead of a dozen?

Here's a little excerpt to whet your appetite.

Relationships are rife with a problem that economists call asymmetric information; when two people engaging in a transaction don’t have access to the same quality of information transactions often do not take place because the person lacking information is unwilling to assume the risk that they are being deceived.

At the beginning of a relationship you may know your own heart, if you are lucky, but you never really know what it is the heart of the person you are dating. If you doubt that a man or woman shares your commitment to the relationship then you might start looking elsewhere for a new partner who does rather than staying in this one and risk being hurt later on. 

The solution to any asymmetric information problem is for the person who has high quality information to send a signal that credibly communicates to the other person that they can be trusted to provide accurate information.

In a new relationship, the person you are dating might tell you that they are committed to being with you for the long run but talk, as they say, is cheap.  

A signal’s credibility is directly related to the cost the signal imposes on the sender. If the cost is low the signal conveys very little information. But as the cost increases so does the assurance to the receiver that they are not being deceived 

The best way for your partner to convince you that he/she is serious about your relationship is to send a signal that imposes real cost on him/her. Giving a costly gift, then, might send a strong enough signal to convince you to stay in the relationship a little longer rather than hedge your bets and look elsewhere.

2) The meaning of love

And for balance sake, here's economist Umair Haque's reflections on Valentine's Day and some take home lessons on love from its scorched embers. It's bold, brash, broody and heartfelt in a dovish lovish kind of way.  I loved it!

So, how was your Valentine's Day? Me? I had an anti-Valentine's day at my local bar with the ghost of Albert Camus, an existential crisis, and a decent bottle of wine. Here's what occurred to the four of us while we were angsting out.

I've made the point before that our economy seems especially good at mass-producing toxic junk. Food that malnourishes us, entertainment that bores us, "news" that isn't, finance that blows up our economy, et cetera. So somewhere into the bottom half of the bottle, I found myself sinking into the well-worn mental ruts that are probably familiar to anyone who has ever hated Valentine's Day: how it's a suspiciously consumerist celebration of cheesy pink-tinged coupledom that exists for the sole purpose of selling pink (or blue) fuzzy (or smooth) disposable crap (or overpriced blood diamonds). Smile winningly, pledge your troth, and log into the intertubes to breathlessly proclaim "Life goal achieved!!!!<3!!"

Throw The Art of War at me if you must, waterboard me, glue my eyes wide open and dress me in one of Rick Santorum's sweater vests if you have to, but I'd suggest, when it comes to real human prosperity: the truest denominator of a life searingly well lived is love. And that has nothing to do with pop songs, rom-coms, or candy hearts.

Hence, here are a few things I've learned along the way — thanks to a long string of catastrophically failed relationships, imploding corner offices, living in between multiple cities, a couple of fistfights, and long evenings of solitude at the bar. These aren't the only lessons — or even the "best" ones; just a few of mine.

3) The home economist

Personal finance blogger Mr.Money Moustach in his latest post challenges our seduction and addiction to cheap consumer junk and extols a return to homemade crafts. Another goodie.

4) Over-rated romantic love

Here's Globe and Mail columnist Margaret Wente, another of my favourite writers, talking about unrealistic expectations from love and why romance is over-rated. I laughed, I cried. I will take it as a sign of true love the man who tolerates my cat peeing in their shoe.

5) Say it with a text

And to cap off this quintet, here's a link to a free app that can reduce your mobile phone bill for all the year-round expressions of love that come in the form of creative writing or midnight calls.

To read other Take Fives by Amanda Morrall click here. You can also follow Amanda on Twitter@amandamorrall