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NZ economists revert to busking to replace bonuses

NZ economists revert to busking to replace bonuses has learned that top economists from New Zealand's major banks are to set up a busking group in an effort to raise funds to replace bonuses that may be cut because economic outcomes have declined to match their economic forecasts. We understand the performance will take place by the bucket fountain on Wellington's Cuba mall at 6:00 pm tonight. "They've all been watching the international news and are wondering what will happen in New Zealand," one market source, who did not want to be named, told "They came up with this as a back up plan just in case of bonus cancellations," the source said. "They've been encouraged by reports from the music industry that live performances are now the best way to raise money, as no one is buying CD's any more," the source said. "Apparently that is what Madonna is doing and the latest available data shows she is the most popular female singer." Their consensus forecast for their busking returns are centred around NZ$32.50 with a forecast range of NZ$1.25 to NZ$93.70. It is not yet clear who would play what instrument, but market sources tell us ANZ National's Cameron Bagrie is quite keen on the triangle, Westpac's Brendan O'Donovan likes the bagpipes and BNZ's Tony Alexander apparently practices the guitar when he thinks no one else is in his home office. ASB economist Nick Tuffley is promising to bring a special guest performer by the name of Ira Goldstein. Alexander will be dressed as a dark blue pig and be wearing dark sunglasses, while Bagrie is expecting to wear a black horse's head outfit, although half the horse will be in a lighter sky blue and may be headed in a different direction. We are unsure as to whether Reserve Bank Governor Alan Bollard will be with the group after a fall out over increased long term mortgage rates this morning. Market sources showed a secret draft repertoire of songs the economists were considering playing. They include: I Want It All (Queen); Money For Nothing (Dire Straits); Million Dollar Bash (Bob Dylan); Heart of Gold (Neil Young); You Got the Silver (Rolling Stones); Baby You're A Rich Man, I Don't Want To Spoil The Party & Money (That's What I Want) (Beatles); Money (Pink Floyd); and Mortgage Stomp (Count Basie). We have been told the group will consider accepting requests from the public, although they are determined to sing their own song: "I got the housing forecast blues...and it's all gone wrong, wrong, wrong" Any ideas? Please include your favourite bankers' tunes in the comment space below.

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