Lynda Moore says when life feels a bit grey, it's very easy to reach for your wallet as a pick-me-up. The key is to have a few good alternatives up your sleeve so you're not caught cold

It's that time of year again. The days are getting shorter and colder. I think I’m a winter person, I love the cold crisp mornings, I don’ mind having to chip the ice of the windscreen before Jett and I head to the beach for our morning sunrise walk.  He has his sparkly collar on so I can see him in the dark, and I’m wrapped up in wooly hat and gloves, then we come home to a cosy house for a bowl of porridge and a cup of tea before my workday begins.

The weekends are interesting aren’t they, our routines are different with the mornings being darker and the evening arriving earlier than you'd like. The couch is calling, the duvet is winning, and somehow, almost without noticing, you’ve ended up at the mall again. Or in my case, as we don’t have a shopping mall in Motueka, its Mitre 10, or The Warehouse, or one of my other favourite shops in town.

I did have a little chuckle to myself, I spoke to a couple of friends over the weekend, and they were both heading out for a bit of DIY retail therapy.

Don't worry. You're not alone. And no, I'm not here to tell you off.

What I am here to do is shine a little light on something I see happen every single winter: the seasonal spending creep. Because when the cold sets in and the outdoor activities dry up, the mall (or your equivalent of) becomes oddly compelling. It's warm. It smells good. There’re things to look at. And before you know it, you've bought a candle (or pot plant) you didn't need, another wooly jumper when you already own more than you’ll wear, and a "treat" from the cafe that somehow cost $18.

Sound familiar?

Blame winter, it's not your fault, really.  When we're cold, grey, and a bit flat, our brains are quietly searching for a hit of something good. A burst of dopamine. A moment of "ooh, I like that."

Shopping delivers that hit beautifully. It's warm, stimulating, social, and gives you the tiny thrill of something new. Retail therapy isn't just a phrase someone invented, it's a real psychological response to low mood. Sorry guys, I know you think it’s just us girls who like retail therapy, but after seeing all the shopping one of my male friends did at the weekend, I can attest that men can shop too.

The trouble is the thrill is short-lived. The decrease in our bank account (or the Afterpay payments) isn’t.

I've seen this pattern in clients, and I've lived it myself. When life feels a bit grey, it's very easy to reach for your wallet as a pick-me-up. The key isn't to white-knuckle your way through winter pretending you don't feel it, it’s to have a few good alternatives up your sleeve so you're not caught cold (pun fully intended).

After a bit of brainstorming here are a few winter activities that cost nothing, seriously, not a cent.

Let's make this fun, shall we? Here are some genuinely enjoyable ways to get your dopamine without depleting your bank account.

1. Have a movie marathon — with rules

Pick a theme: a director, a decade, a country, a genre. Watch them in order. Rate them. Argue about them. There is genuinely great fun to be had in watching all the Clint Eastwood films back-to-back and debating which one is the best.

2. Rediscover your kitchen

Winter is the season cookbooks were made for. Pick something you've never made before, a proper slow braise, homemade pasta, bread from scratch. The process is engaging, the house smells amazing, and the results are deeply satisfying. (And weirdly impressive to whoever you feed them to.)  My tummy is rumbling from the aroma of the moussaka that I’m cooking as I write this.

3. Go for a walk anyway

I know. It's cold. But hear me out. A brisk walk when it's crisp and clear is a completely different experience to a sweaty summer stroll. There's something quietly magnificent about being warm in a coat while the world is cold around you. Bonus: it genuinely lifts your mood in a way that scrolling cannot.  If you don’t feel motivated yourself, and you don’t have a dog, borrow someone else’s.

4. Start the book you've been meaning to read

You know the one. It's been sitting there looking at you. Winter is its moment. Light something that smells nice, make something hot to drink, and give yourself permission to just... read.

5. Teach yourself something random on YouTube

Watercolour painting. Basic Japanese phrases. How to identify birds by their call. How to play one specific song on guitar. The internet is a magnificent free university if you know what to look for. Pick something that has nothing to do with work and everything to do with fun.

6. Write actual letters

Old-fashioned, I know. But there is something deeply lovely about receiving a handwritten letter. And writing one, thinking about the person, choosing your words, turns out to be quite good for you too. The cost? A stamp. If you don’t fancy writing a letter, maybe catch up on some journalling, or have a video call with your friend instead.

7. Declutter with intention

Now before you roll your eyes, this is not about tidying. This is about rediscovering things you already own. Most of us have clothes, books, games, and gadgets we've completely forgotten about. A Sunday afternoon dig through your own home is often full of surprises. Go shopping in your own wardrobe, garage or garden shed.

8. Host a potluck

"But that costs money for food!" Yes, but only your share. A potluck means everyone brings one dish, you get a table full of food, and the cost per person is tiny. More importantly, you get warmth, noise, laughter, and connection. Which is what you were probably going to the mall to find anyway.

Winter spending isn't really about the things. It's about the feeling we're chasing, warmth, comfort, stimulation, connection. And here's what I've learned, both personally and through years of working with clients: the things rarely deliver the feeling as well as the experience does.

That jumper doesn't cure the grey. A slow afternoon making soup or laughing over terrible films with people you love that comes a lot closer.

So, this winter, before you head to the mall, pause for just a moment. Ask yourself: what feeling am I chasing right now?

And then see if there's another way to find it that doesn't require you to pay it off in spring.

Your wallet will thank you. And honestly so will you.

I’d love you to share some of your free winter activities in the comments below.

*Lynda Moore is a Money Mentalist coach and New Zealand’s only certified New Money Story® mentor. Lynda helps you understand why you do the things you do with your money, when we all know we should spend less than we earn. You can contact her here.