The Auckland Super City's 24 point plan to become a more innovative, effective and focused council

Oh heck.  They'd be better listing the the top 24 "opportunity areas" for cost savings and let the population rank these in order of "okay to dump it" priority.

At least then it would be a transparent and fair way of determining what their "customers" don't want or need in terms of "levels of service" delivery.

Jeez what a profound and inspirational list of operational/managerial cliches and jargon.

Heres my 24 suggestions ( including some outrageous ones )

Every one of the 24 points on their  list is likely to cost more money !

They need to

1) Slash wasteful expenditure  on stupid meaningless jargon filled press releases

2) Councillors should not be paid , they should volunteer

3)The grandiose schemes for parks and public places  should be canned until the GFC is  over... we've got enough of these underutilised facilities  already  

4) The bureacracy is fat and lazy ..... they need redundancies and staff  headcount should be halved

5)The fleet of vehicles should also  be halved, every other car drivng around  is a council vehicle...is it really necessary . Len Brown is so keen on busses ..... wiy not let his staff use busses In London,  city of London staff often use the busses on official business  

6) America has 400 million people and is run by 100 representatives .... Auckland has 1 million people and has how many councillors? Guess ?

7) Get staff to account for their time in 15 minute sessions. They sepnd ages in idle chatter and seldom do any work.

8) Long lunches should be banned ... its stealing for the ratepayers

9) Get rid of Staff expense cards , were in a recession and they should tighten their belts like everyone else

10 Get rid of councillors expense cards

11) All duplicated staff arising from the merger shouyld be made redundant ( out rates would go down)

11)Functions in multiple areas should be centralised

12) Sell the Port ..... WTF is the council doing running a port?

13) Staff should be casualised and only be paid for wht they produce ( per timesheets )

14) No more running football matches which lose millions

15) No more subsidizing V8 races .... its bollocks

16) No more busses being subsidised Why are privately owned busses being  subsidised by ratepayers  ? its nonsense a bus Compnay is like an airline , it must run at a profit or go out of business.

17) Everything whould be on the User -pays basis including swimming pools , etc etc

18) Stop all grants to non-proift organisations , they can get their money from Gambling foundations and trusts

19) Get rid of special dispnesations and handouts  for minority racial groups....... this is not South Africa

20)  Stop wasting money on dumb things like Wynyard quarter  which is a white elephant

21) The Auckland  rail loop is a disaster waitng to happen .... it should be canned now

22) Get onto a single IT platform to save mutliple IT costs

23) Stop undertaking " commercial activities " ... they never get these right and end up losing more money ... leave it to the free market .

24 )Fire the messenger ..... WTF is a " place-making mindset "? The person who wrote such Cr#P  should be fired and we could save $100 k per year on that alone.

ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND

what a load of bollocks

so much for Mr Hide's great plan

I couldn't resist:

1. Embed customer-centric design into our services & processes

Develop a complex, but colourful diagram for everything.

2. Increase the level of self service for our customers

Automate it and charge more.

3. React with more agility to the needs of the customer

Head them off at the pass.

4. Establish differentiated offerings to customer segments

Kowtow to the developer and corporate types.

5. Optimise the use of contact centre resources

Minimise the opportunity for ratepayers to speak directly to the real decision-makers and never ever provide a direct-line number.

6. Optimise the distribution of face-to-face service points

Buy up lots of office space and retro fit it at the ratepayers expense otherwise they might want to Skype us and find out we’re never at our desks.

7. Deliver effective, consistent, streamlined services and achieve scale efficiencies through the implementation of process centres

Pretend the above saves money.

8. Optimise outcomes from commercial activities

In particular, quash the union at the Port.

9. Redesign activities to better account for variable work volumes

Sign up to attend more conferences and training courses to fill in your downtime.

10. Review the delivery model for non-core services

Charge higher fees.

11. Adopt a 'place-making' mind-set and practices

Issue all planners a list of trendy buzz words and acronyms and pay bonuses based on how often the most obscure are used in practice.

12. Improve our capability to deliver advice and support to Elected Representatives

All staff to be trained in the latest tactics for ‘pulling the wool over’ Elected Member’s eyes.

13. Implement operating model principles

Start by reading the Wiki entry - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operating_model

14. Improve the effectiveness of resource and capital deployment

Set a goal of losing less on our derivative plays next year.

15. Improve the quality of management information and insight

As a means to develop more innovative excuses.

16. Rationalise and consolidate the vast range of IT services and applications

Devise a PR strategy regarding the imminent cost over runs.

17. Improve the IS capability to deliver a world-class IS function

As above.

18. Open appropriate data to drive open innovation

Another start by reading the Wiki entry - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_innovation

19. Establish high performance foundations

Earthquake proof our accommodation.

20. Embed high performance practices throughout the organisation

Make sure fail proof performance targets are in place to ensure bonuses are guaranteed.

21. Sustain high performance through talent and succession management

Restructure those divisions who come in under budget.

22. Extend performance through innovative programmes

Pay higher performance bonuses.

23. Attract the best talent to build a high performing organisation

Use recruitment agencies with the highest fees as they’re the ones with the corporate boxes.

24. Streamline bureaucracy within the organisation

Provide the minimum of information in an org chart.

POINT ONE.  Customers ????????????

The council and all its members are Servants  thats all.of the people.

The CEO is really the town clerk

BAZ

What we are watching unfold around the world is the demise of the greatest civilization

ever before our own eyes .Rome is burning the debts are unpayable its so strange watching

it take place most people think the the goverment will save us .

Baz

Anyone who can come up with this crap jargon should be fired, as well as the Human Resources people dumb enough to employ this jargon generator.

And the "Inner City Rail Loop"who heads  it all.

What ever happened to the good old seamless transactions with nobody  falling through the cracks as they move forward on a level playing field with a goal focused culture as they break down the silos?

See!!

That is much more illuminating, even if its not 24, its actually more!!

BTW, what is the name of this council spokeswoman who spews this crap to conceal both the real intentions and their total cluelessness and inadequacy??How much ratepayer money does she and her like absorb perannum??

Now I know why I pay $750 in rates for a carpark valued at $40k, but only worth $30k.

The perfect " win / win " situation would be for the Auckland Super City to incorporate itself as a limited liability company , and then to float 49 % of the shares in itself onto the stock-exchange .....

...... then , whenever the rates are increased , you'd be bloody pleased ! ..... well , the profit would rise , and your dividend would correspondingly increase !

......  no need to thank the Gummster for getting youse out of the pickle  , the " key to the city " & a lifetime supply of gummibars would suffice ....... whaddya say , Auckland ? ..... no , not tomatoes ...... oi ! ...... don't throw them , they're expensive at this time of year ....... ouch ! ....... aw c'mon now , behave ...... ouch !

What a load of PR propaganda BS....

I had to apply for a resource consent a coyuple weeks back...keep in mind this IS the 21st century right?

I was told by my builder to take my cheque book along to pay for the $1500 deposit...It is so long ago that had to right out a cheque, let alone where the cheque book was, i took it upon my self to pay by effpos.....

Headed up to the cashiers window, "no sry cant do effpos, go back to see that counter and they will give u a special form"

Head to that counter for the form...the person had never heard of such a form....so she asked someone else... who knew they had seen something like that somewhere and eventually found it.....a full page or so to fill out.

So back to the cashiers window...now the person behind the window, who refered me to get the form , had to confer with another more senior college as to how to process the epos payment and form...

I recieved a effpos reciept......thenn recieve a email confirming payment, and receipt of the application THEN a few days later recieve a letter confirming it again!

Is this repesentive of the aministartion of the largest city in NZ in the 21st century?  

Well yes.

And Why?

Because they are spending millions on accessing and reassessing what the need to do, expensive PR programs presenting the BS, then keep on repeating this bearocratic process for as long as they can sustain doing so.

One thing that is not listed is .

"impliment all of the above"

Why?

becuse they can simply just get off their butts and do what the hell they are paid to do professionally... they now need more meetings advisory consultants to tell their 'professional staff' how to do the bloody jobs they where employed to do.

On a +ve note, being new to dealing in these sorts of things, most of the people who have avised me have been very helpful, polite, and piontedd me in the right directions.....except for one arrogant, chavanist snr staff member who should have been retired/ fired / or made redundant yrs ago.

I have a close friend who was employed during the meger as a  TEMP consultant for 6 months....hes still doing the same thing, and when asked when is consultancy will now finsh.. " no sign in the next 12 months"   Will u work for Council when it does   " hell no, Im not stupid, the beaucracy and the office politics is why Im still consulting, and will be for a long time, and I could not work or achieve withing such a atmosphere"

Well thats another good couple 100 grand of rate payers money going to pay his contract....

They used to blame the council worker leaning on his shovel.... now they cant blame it on that, and we see the real issues of wastage, incompetence, leadership.