We've gone through the weekend Herald property supplements to have a look at the language used in the varied efforts to entice buyers and sell houses. There are some that catch the eye. We welcome your favourites in the comments below. 1. This one's for a Westhaven property: "A blue chip address for investors and first-timers." Er, have you been watching New Zealand's financial news over the last few years? 'Blue chip' as a phrase has picked up some not so sunny connotations lately. Definitely away from this in Investopedia:
A nationally recognized, well-established and financially sound company. Blue chips generally sell high-quality, widely accepted products and services. Blue chip companies are known to weather downturns and operate profitably in the face of adverse economic conditions, which helps to contribute to their long record of stable and reliable growth.
'Blue chip' apparently originally came from poker, in which the blue chips had the highest value.
2. For an inner city apartment. It's all a big gamble: "When you are on a roll... ...You keep spinning the wheel Another dice weighted in your favour Another owner cashing up Odds are on at 9% Any further bets? Go all in on this one" 3. An enticing one in Morningside, bring the de-humidifier: "Leaky building bailout... Re-cladding and repairs due to commence... Buy the unit, pay for the repairs and enjoy high yields" 4. This for a "Soviet Penthouse" in Auckland city: "Shoots rubles like a Kalashnikov Slightly bigger than your Lada Inspect if you're spying rental returns or banishing the kids to this education wasteland Whatever your Glasnost, this Aussie capitalist is decommissioning his Kiwi Chernobyl Total meltdown; Please single file, No Rushin" 4. For a Hobson street apartment: "Victimized vendor held up by a trigger happy mortgage." 5. South Head, lots to do on this piece of land: "Build, Hunt, Fish, Ride or subdivide." 6. Freemans Bay looking up: "Things will only get better...Investor releases property portfolio to the market...Owners breathe sigh of relief after arbitration." 7. An Anzac ave apartment better than the bank: "Yes, better than double term deposit rate Nearly unbeatable rental return Close to unit, but not too close Agreement signed at nine % net First to sign owns" 8. Elegant writing style for a lovely looking Remuera home: "IGNORE PREVIOUS PRICE. VENDOR WILL MEET THE MARKET - MAKE THE MOST OF THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PURCHASE ONE OF AUCKLAND'S MOST BEAUTIFUL HOMES" 9. A Remuera house that isn't to be laughed at: "Serious sale - disregard previous pricing" 10. And finally, an Orewa house: "Vendor's instructions are to sell" Oh, so that's what we're meant to be doing.
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