Lynda Moore says scarcity early in life teaches us important lessons - but as we prosper we should leave some of them behind

Our money stories (not just from a young age) leave little footprints on the way we live today. Here is one of mine about scarcity.

My parents were children during and after the second world war in the UK. Scarcity was a real thing for them, and it was very deeply buried in their psyche. They moved to New Zealand to ‘build a better life’ - and they did.

But the scarcity thing was still there. I would open Mum’s pantry and there would be five tins of baked beans and six packets of Superwine biscuits; they were on special so Mum would stockpile them. 

On one of their trips to stay with me, Mum and I were out shopping. We decided we were going to have some fresh fish for dinner, and we were reviewing the various options at the fish shop.

“What would you like Mum”, I asked. “The Gurnard looks lovely”, she replied.

Please cut me a bit of slack here, I was very new in my money psychology journey at this point. I couldn’t help myself. I launched into the scarcity story, that Mum only wanted Gurnard because it was the cheapest, and we could afford Snapper if that was what she really wanted.

She listened patiently to me, and then quietly told me, “I really do prefer Gurnard to Snapper, I know I could have Snapper if I wanted it, but I don’t fancy it today”. We had Gurnard for dinner that night, and it was lovely. 

For some people, childhood meant never worrying if the fridge was full or if the power bill could be paid. For others, money was tight – and that shaped everyday choices.

What’s interesting is that even when circumstances change, the habits we pick up from growing up in scarcity often stick around. Some of these habits are wonderful strengths that support resilience and wise money management. Others can become limiting if we never pause to question whether they still serve us.

I see this often when I’m working with clients. They’ll say things like, “I know I can afford it, but I just can’t bring myself to spend the money,” or, “I always feel guilty buying something just for me.” Those feelings don’t appear out of nowhere – they usually have roots that go way back.

Let’s look at some of the common habits that grow out of scarcity. As you read, notice which ones sound familiar to you.  Which ones do want to keep, soften, or let go of?

1. Practical always wins

When money is tight, practicality becomes the rule of thumb. You buy the shoes that will last, not the ones that are in style. You cook filling, simple meals because they stretch further than fancy ones. You choose function over form because the priority is making sure needs are covered.

This habit often lingers. Even when there’s more room in the budget, it can feel almost “wrong” to choose something purely because it’s beautiful or enjoyable. Yet, sometimes giving ourselves permission to buy something just because we like it can be a powerful way of shifting from survival mode into thriving mode.

2. Frugality is second nature

Scarcity teaches frugality early on. It’s not about being stingy – it’s about making the most of what you have. Maybe you learned to stretch meals, patch clothes, or reuse items long before “sustainability” became a buzzword.

This skill can be a real superpower. Frugal habits help avoid waste and keep spending aligned with values. But sometimes, frugality can cross into fear. I’ve met people who can comfortably afford a holiday but can’t bring themselves to book it because the idea of spending that money feels unsafe. Recognising the difference between sensible frugality and fear-based restriction is an important step.

3. Waiting pays off

Do you remember the famous marshmallow experiment – the one that tested children’s ability to delay gratification? Growing up in scarcity often gives you this skill by default. You learn that sometimes you have to wait, save, or sacrifice now for something better later.

This habit can serve you well as an adult. It makes saving, planning, and prioritising long-term goals easier. But it’s also important to remember that life happens in the present. If we spend all our time waiting for later, we can miss out on joy now. The balance lies in allowing some “now moments” while still being wise about the future.

4. Simple living feels natural

Scarcity often brings simplicity. You grow up with fewer possessions, fewer extras, and a focus on the essentials. Many people carry that forward into adulthood, naturally gravitating towards a simpler, more minimalist lifestyle.

And here’s the interesting thing: while some people see simplicity as a restriction, those who grew up with less often find it freeing. It’s not about going without – it’s about realising you don’t need a lot of “stuff” to feel content.

5. People matter more than things

When possessions are limited, relationships take centre stage. Families lean on one another. Neighbours help out. Community support becomes essential.

This often leaves a lasting lesson: people are more important than things. Adults who grew up in scarcity often prioritise connection, generosity, and community. It’s a beautiful strength. The only caution is making sure generosity doesn’t turn into over-giving at the expense of your own needs – another subtle habit that can stem from those early money stories.

6. Resilience gets built in

Scarcity builds resilience because you learn to cope with challenges from a young age. Things don’t always go smoothly, and you have to find ways to adapt and bounce back.

That resilience can become a real asset in adulthood. It means you’re resourceful, creative, and able to weather setbacks. But sometimes, resilience comes with a downside: it can make asking for help feel uncomfortable, as though you should be able to handle everything yourself. Remember, resilience doesn’t mean going it alone – it means knowing you can cope, and part of coping is leaning on support when you need it.

7. Joy in the little things

When you don’t have much, small pleasures stand out. A hot drink, a laugh with a friend, a beautiful sunrise at the beach, these moments feel special. And often, that appreciation for the little things never leaves you.

This is one of the loveliest legacies of scarcity. It creates the habit of noticing, savouring, and appreciating simple joys. Even when life improves financially, that ability to see beauty in the small things adds richness that money can’t buy.

Growing up in scarcity doesn’t define you, but it does shape you. The habits you carry forward can be powerful strengths, resilience, gratitude, frugality, resourcefulness, and they can also be reminders to soften and allow yourself a little more freedom.

The key is awareness. When you notice these patterns in yourself, you can ask: Does this habit still serve me today? Or is it time to loosen it and create something new?

Because while our past shapes us, it doesn’t have to limit us. And when we bring awareness and choice into the picture, we can keep the best of what scarcity taught us – and gently let go of the rest.

What did I learn from the Gurnard story? Awareness. There are times when the best choice comes from a place of scarcity, and there are other times when that doesn’t serve us. Compromise. This was huge when building my house. I knew what was important to me, and I stuck to my guns, but, to stay in budget, I happily compromised on areas that weren’t as important.

I’d love to hear your scarcity stories and what you learned from them in the comments. 

*Lynda Moore is a Money Mentalist coach and New Zealand’s only certified New Money Story® mentor. Lynda helps you understand why you do the things you do with your money, when we all know we should spend less than we earn. You can contact her here.