Lynda Moore notes life doesn’t slow down the way we think it will. She says when you keep putting off joy, you’re not just saving money; you’re spending time. And that’s something you can’t earn back

I have been giving a lot of thought to ‘what next’?  now that the house project is complete and I have my time back.  I decided a good starting point would be to think about and put some plans in place for the next five years, not just for my business but for my life as well.

It’s been a very interesting exercise, as I didn’t realise how many things I had put on the back burner, waiting for the house to be finished. Thank goodness that was only a one-year project, I’d hate to think about how much of life would have passed me by, if it had been, say three years.

You see there’s a quiet little phrase that sneaks into our thinking far more often than we realise.

It sounds harmless, even wise. It helps us feel organised and in control.

That phrase is “someday.”

• Someday I’ll take that trip.
• Someday I’ll start saving properly.
• Someday I’ll finally slow down and enjoy life.

It feels responsible to wait — to get the ducks in a row before we allow ourselves a little freedom or fun.

One of mine was, I’ll wait until the house is finished before investing in an e-bike, that’s the sensible thing to do…I’m happy to say, I’m now racing round town on my bright red e-bike and loving it!

After all, we’ve been taught to be sensible with money and to think ahead. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when you pause for a moment, you might notice that someday keeps moving further away.

Life doesn’t slow down the way we think it will. The job gets busier, the bills keep coming, something always needs fixing, and before you know it, months or even years have slipped past while you’re still waiting for the right time.

For many people, that word someday becomes a kind of safety net — a way to feel like you’re planning, even when you’re actually postponing. It gives a sense of control in an unpredictable world. But it can also quietly hold you back from living the life you’re working so hard to create.

That’s what I call The Someday Trap — the belief that you’ll start living once everything else is in order.

There are times, however, when someday and postponing works in our favour.  The Alaskan cruise falls into that category for me. It was going to be the big number birthday, then a few other things happened, life got in the way, the big birthday came and went, and no Alaskan cruise.  I have regrets about not going, it just wasn’t the right time.  Maybe it will make it back into the five-year plan.

The Someday Trap is the belief that life will begin once certain conditions are met.

It’s that invisible finish line you keep pushing further away:

• “I’ll be happy when the debt is gone.”
• “I’ll start investing when I earn more.”
• “I’ll make time for myself when work slows down.”

You end up living in a constant state of not yet. You’re waiting for the stars to align, but they never quite do. It feels like you’re being smart and cautious, but in reality, you might just be keeping yourself safe from uncertainty or change.

There are a few big emotional drivers behind this habit, and they have very little to do with the numbers in your bank account.

1. Fear of scarcity
If you’ve been reading my articles, you will have seen this come up quite a few times. It really does play a much bigger role in our lives in quite a lot more subtle ways than we realise.  We tell ourselves that spending or doing something now will mean missing out later. So, we keep waiting for the moment we’ll “have enough” — even when that number keeps shifting.

2. Perfectionism
I know I have been guilty of this one. Many of us want everything neat and tidy before we allow ourselves to enjoy life. The problem is, life never gets perfectly tidy. There’s always one more loose end.

There have been times in life where as fast as I tidied up one thing, another six things popped up, it got very hard living life that way.  Now I keep perfectionism for my linen cupboard (my towels are all perfectly folded and colour co-ordinated).

3. Inherited beliefs
Maybe you grew up hearing that fun comes after the work is done, or that rest and pleasure must be earned. Those messages run deep,  and they can make it hard to simply give yourself permission to live.

I grew up with the belief that you have to work hard to get ahead.  I have rephrased that to, working hard is fine, but making time for play and being smart in how you work is just as important.

4. Control
Waiting gives us the illusion of control. We feel safer telling ourselves we’re “just being careful” rather than admitting we’re afraid to take a step.

Over-researching to make sure the decision you are making is the right one, is another form of control and perfectionism.

But here’s the thing: you can’t plan your way into feeling safe or ready. Emotional readiness doesn’t come from your bank balance; it comes from trust in yourself.

When you keep putting off joy, you’re not just saving money; you’re spending time. And that’s something you can’t earn back.

Every time you say someday, you reinforce the belief that you’re not ready yet. You push the life you want just a little further away.

I’ve seen so many people who are financially secure on paper but emotionally exhausted because they’ve been living in postponement mode for years. They’ve ticked every box, but they never feel done enough to relax or enjoy the present. Or, by the time they do decide to relax and enjoy life, their body has other ideas and they can’t physically do all the things they have been putting off.

The cost isn’t just financial, it’s emotional and relational. You can build a financially responsible life that feels completely disconnected from the things that make you happy.

You don’t need to throw your financial plan out the window, you just need to balance the future you’re planning for with the life you’re living right now. Here’s how to start:

1. Name your “Someday”
What’s the thing you keep postponing? Write it down. Seeing it on paper makes it real and gives you something to work with.

2. Ask what you’re really waiting for
Are you waiting for more money, or for permission to feel comfortable spending it? Sometimes it’s not the budget that’s holding you back, it’s fear or guilt.

3. Start small
You don’t need to book a world trip — take a weekend away, go to that concert, enrol in that class. The goal is to act now in a small, meaningful way.

4. Redefine “responsible”
Being responsible doesn’t mean never enjoying yourself. It means aligning your money with your values and that includes joy, connection, and growth.

Money is meant to help you live, not to put your life on hold. Yes, plan for the future. Yes, make wise choices. But don’t wait for the perfect time, it doesn’t exist. I’m not suggesting go out and blow all your savings on a sports car and throw caution to the wind. Just recognise when waiting for someday is stopping you taking action now on something you really want to do.

There’s only today, and what you choose to do with it. Someday isn’t a date on the calendar. It’s a decision you make right now.

*Lynda Moore is a Money Mentalist coach and New Zealand’s only certified New Money Story® mentor. Lynda helps you understand why you do the things you do with your money, when we all know we should spend less than we earn. You can contact her here.