Lynda Moore says debt isn’t just a financial problem. It carries an emotional weight that’s often overlooked, and addressing that too usually makes for a more positive outcome

Most people think paying off debt is all about the numbers, interest rates, balances, and spreadsheets. Coming from a background as an accountant, that was certainly what I believed and told my clients (and myself) as well.  Pay off the high interest debt first, was my mantra.  And yes, that stuff matters. It was only when I started to understand our money psychology that I realised there was much more to it than just the interest rates. And I also learned from personal experience if that’s all you focus on, it can feel heavy, stressful, and overwhelming.

Debt isn’t just a financial problem. It carries an emotional weight that’s often overlooked. Stress, worry, guilt, and sometimes even a sense that it’s too big to tackle can all creep in. Over the years, I’ve met plenty of people who know exactly what they “should” do.  I’ve told clients what they should do as well, sometimes, it just didn’t happen, instead just thinking about starting makes you freeze. That’s completely normal. Debt is tricky, not just because of money, but because of how it makes us feel.

One of the most helpful ways to approach it is to start with how it feels. Which debt worries you most? Which one would feel amazing to get rid of first? It might not be the biggest debt or the one with the highest interest rate, but it could be the one that’s been hanging over your head for years. It might be the $1,000 that Aunty Jean lent you for your first car, she’s not charging you interest, she’s not chasing you to repay it, but for you, it feels heavy, you don’t want to let her down, you really want to pay her back quickly, but you feel you can’t because the $5.000 credit card is carrying 23% interest and you ‘should’ pay that off first. Starting with Aunty Jean’s debt isn’t ignoring strategy, it’s giving yourself a win that actually matters. Momentum is everything. Clearing one smaller debt completely can feel like a breath of fresh air, and that confidence makes tackling the next one easier.

I remember a client who was in exactly that situation, she had three debts she was juggling. On paper, the largest balance should have been her priority. But she couldn’t stop thinking about the smallest one, the one that made her anxious every time she was at a family gathering. We focused on that first. Within a few weeks, she’d cleared it. She told me it felt like a weight lifted off her chest, and suddenly the other debts didn’t feel so scary. That feeling of relief gave her motivation she hadn’t expected. Once the ball started rolling, she gained more momentum to keep going with the rest.

Another client had a similar experience. She’d been avoiding opening her statements because they made her feel overwhelmed. Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, we created a small plan that felt doable for her week by week. By the end of the month, she’d cleared one debt completely and had a clear sense of direction for the others. She told me she felt more in control than she had in years. Sometimes, just seeing progress, however small, is the spark you need.

Debt often comes with a story. Maybe it came from a period where you were just getting by. A business that didn’t go to plan, or life throwing an unexpected curveball. Each story carries stress, worry, or even guilt. Ignoring that emotional side only makes repayment feel heavier. Recognising the story behind your debt helps you make choices that are practical, manageable, and actually stick. It’s not about blame it’s about understanding and moving forward.

Numbers still matter. Interest rates, repayment schedules, and cashflow all need to be considered. But the trick is combining strategy with what works for you personally. A perfect plan on paper is useless if it feels impossible to follow. The best repayment plan is realistic, clear, and fits your life without adding more stress.

Debt repayment is also an opportunity to build positive habits. As you work through your payments, you start to notice your patterns and choices more clearly. Perhaps small, frequent spending habits were creeping up without you realising. Perhaps certain times of the month are trickier than others. Understanding these patterns isn’t about blame, it’s about learning so you can make better decisions going forward. Every payment is progress. Every debt cleared is a win. And each step makes the next one easier.

Progress matters more than perfection. Some debts may not make the most “financial sense” to tackle first, but paying off the one that weighs on you most can give relief and motivation. Small wins build momentum, and momentum is what keeps you moving forward. Even slow steps add up. And sometimes, that sense of achievement is what makes all the difference.

There are many different strategies you can use to pay down debt.  Have a look at Dave Ramsey’s snowball model, that may work for you. I like this idea with the added question of what the emotional weight is that each debt is carrying and including that in the debt ranking.

Debt repayment doesn’t have to feel like a punishment. It can feel like progress, relief, and even empowerment. By paying attention to both your finances and your feelings, you’re not just clearing balances, you’re building confidence, improving habits, and changing your relationship with money. Remember, it was a bank marketing campaign that got us thinking about debt being either good or bad.  Debt is just debt, and it doesn’t make you bad if you have it.

It’s not about doing everything perfectly. It’s about taking steps that work for you, steps that feel achievable and sustainable. Celebrate every win, even the small ones. Each payment gets you closer to freedom, and each success, no matter the size, builds confidence.

Take it one step at a time. Honour your progress. Ask yourself each week what you’ve accomplished and what feels lighter. Reflect on the habits you’re forming and the lessons you’re learning. Every little move matters. You’re not just paying off debt; you’re creating a stronger, healthier relationship with money, and that’s something to feel genuinely proud of.

*Lynda Moore is a Money Mentalist coach and New Zealand’s only certified New Money Story® mentor. Lynda helps you understand why you do the things you do with your money, when we all know we should spend less than we earn. You can contact her here.