Lynda Moore says next time you feel frustrated with money, pause and ask yourself: 'Does this choice reflect how much I value myself?'

There is a conversation I’m having a bit more frequently, not just with clients, but friends too. We are all watching world events unfold, and the impact they are having on us, not just at the fuel pump, but potentially on our lives as well.

That conversation is: Money. It can make you feel excited, nervous, stressed, or proud, sometimes all at once. Most people think money problems are about numbers: spending too much, saving too little, or making the wrong investment. But here’s the thing, (I know I sound like a broken record) but, money is rarely just about money. It’s about you, your beliefs, and how you see yourself.

Your sense of self-worth has more impact on your finances than most people realise. If you struggle to feel deserving of money, it can sneak into your daily financial decisions without you even noticing. Let’s break down how this plays out. and what you can do about it.

How Low Self-Worth Shows Up in Your Finances

When your self-worth is low, your money habits often reflect it. You might:

• Undervalue your work – offering products or services at a lower price than they deserve.
• Avoid asking for more – hesitating to negotiate a raise or better deal.
• Use money to feel better – a little shopping here, a little takeout there, trying to fill an emotional gap.
• Feel guilty about financial choices – even small wins can bring a sneaky sense of shame.

Notice anything familiar? If you do, don’t panic, it’s common. These patterns aren’t about stupidity or laziness; they’re about habit, belief, and emotional wiring. Many of them start in childhood, with messages like “Money doesn’t grow on trees” or “Rich people are greedy”. Over time, these beliefs can quietly shape your decisions, often without you realising it.

The Connection Between Self-Worth and Net Worth

Here’s a truth that’s easy to forget: your net worth often mirrors your self-worth. If you struggle to feel deserving of money, it will be reflected in your finances, consciously or unconsciously.

Think about it. When you undervalue yourself, you’re likely to undervalue your work, your time, and even your ability to grow wealth. You might leave opportunities on the table, avoid asking for what you deserve, or make financial decisions that feel “safe” but don’t serve you in the long run.

On the flip side, when you value yourself, your financial choices often improve naturally. You’re more confident in pricing your services, negotiating your salary, saving consistently, and making investments that align with your goals.

It’s not magic, it’s psychology. Money follows mindset.

A Gentle Wake-Up Call

Here’s a gentle truth: most of us carry invisible money patterns. We all have stories about money, many of which are decades old. These stories affect how we spend, save, and earn. I know I did.  It took me a long time to realise that 4yr old Lynda was running my finances, and she wasn’t doing a very good job!

For some, it might look like spending impulsively when stressed. For others, it might look like chronic undercharging or fear of negotiating. Some people avoid looking at their bank balance, hoping if they don’t see it, it won’t be real.

Sound familiar? Don’t worry, this is normal human behaviour. What isn’t normal is ignoring it. Left unchecked, these patterns can quietly keep you stuck.  It took nearly losing everything for me to take a long hard look at myself, my destructive financial behaviour and then do something about it.

How to Break the Cycle

Breaking these patterns doesn’t mean overhauling your life overnight. It starts with awareness and small steps. Here’s how you can start shifting your mindset today:

1. Notice your money habits without judgment
Take a few minutes to reflect on your spending, saving, and earning patterns. The goal isn’t to shame yourself — it’s to observe. Awareness is the first step to change.

2. Ask yourself where your beliefs came from
Did someone in your family make certain money choices? Did society send subtle messages about wealth being “bad” or “selfish”? Understanding the origins of your beliefs gives you power to change them.

3. Challenge the stories you tell yourself
Just because you grew up thinking money is hard doesn’t mean it has to be that way now. Start replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones: “I deserve to be paid what I’m worth” or “Money can be a tool, not a stressor.”

4. Value yourself and your contributions
When you begin recognising your skills, time, and effort as valuable, it changes how you handle money. This can affect everything from pricing your services to deciding where to invest.

5. Take small, intentional actions
You don’t need to revolutionise your finances overnight. Even tiny steps, like reviewing a budget, negotiating a small raise, or saving a little extra each week, build confidence and momentum over time.

Money isn’t just a reflection of your bank balance or your income. It’s a reflection of how you value yourself. The more you honour your worth, the more your finances can flourish alongside it.

So, next time you feel frustrated with money, pause and ask yourself: “Does this choice reflect how much I value myself?” You might be surprised by the answers, and by how empowering it feels to align your net worth with your self-worth.

Remember, this isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness, small steps, and being kind to yourself along the way. Money can be fun, freeing, and fulfilling, once you see it as a mirror of your worth rather than a measure of it.

My challenge to you this week, is to write your money story, what’s going on right now with your self-worth and your money, I’m not talking about your bank balance, I’m talking about your emotions and your money beliefs.  Once you see where you are right now, you can decide what you want to change and write a new story for the future.

*Lynda Moore is a Money Mentalist coach and New Zealand’s only certified New Money Story® mentor. Lynda helps you understand why you do the things you do with your money, when we all know we should spend less than we earn. You can contact her here.